


My replicator hates me

by Crazycakes



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 04:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19995595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazycakes/pseuds/Crazycakes
Summary: The replicators won't listen to the captain and her first officer is more than happy to help.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Not completely sure if this will be a series or just as it is but if I think of more then I'll add onto it. This Is also my first fic for this so hopefully it's all good. 
> 
> Terrible at reading my own stuff so hopefully not too many mistakes.

It was not a good day! It was only 0830 hours and the replicator in her ready room was refusing to give her what she most desired.

'coffee black, now!' She stated upon the opening of her ready room doors, Tuvok was the first to look at her, only raising his eyebrows ever so briefly before continuing with his work. She strode towards the big chair, her chair. The commander stood up only to move over to the left, he looked at her when she sat down with a slightly amused expression.

'tell me something comander' she said leaning into the space between both chairs before looking around the bridge 'did i, or did I not order someone... anyone to get me a coffee that is black... now!' everyone on the bridge simultaneously said aye captain or yes ma'am all at once. 

It took precisely 10 more seconds for a coffee to appear before her, the second the aroma was close to her she felt some of the stress melt away, and the rest of it went with the first sip.

heaven was all she could think for a split moment before opening her eyes as the hot liquid went down. She noticed the commander observing her with a somewhat curious expression before blinking and trying to focus on the padd beside him. 

'The replicator in my ready room isn't working, perhaps B'elanna will find time between maintenance to have a look' rubbing her temples and taking another sip.

'so I guessed!' He grinned at her, bearing his boylike dimples 'I don't think she will be free for awhile, I can have a look if you like captain? 

She looked up from her control panel and smiled at him 'well comander' she stood up and and briefly pondered her now half empty cup of coffee 'that's an order, I'll be in my ready room' the smile never leaving her face. 

It had maybe been about 15 minutes and the coffee cup was now empty, a pile of padds waiting for her reviews and approval. The familiar chirp from the ready room doors alerted her from her mountain of tasks. 

'Come in' in her most authoritative tone even though she already knew who it would be. 

The doors swooshed open and closed as he walked in with his hands behind his back. 

'I'll take a look at that replicator now captain, if you aren't too busy' the kindness to his voice reached his eyes. 

'I'm always too busy Chakotay, but go right ahead' she motioned towards the only replicator in the room 'thanks for this by the way' she said quickly before moving her eyes to the work in front of her. 

He went to the replicator and simply said 'one coffee black' the replicator did as it was told and produced the standard coffee that it was meant to.

she stood up rather quickly practically throwing her work to one side. 'It worked!' She picked up the coffee and took a sip 'seems perfectly fine too... let me try' she nudged him out of the way in an uncaptain like manner 'one coffee, black' the replicator beeped and then did nothing. She let out a huff and her eyes closed as she counted backwards from ten in her head. She got to member six when she heard him clear his throat. 

'I think you are right about b'elanna having to take a look, I'll let her know! and in the meantime if you need something you can always com me' his dimples beaming at her, showing her that it would not bother him at all to be her coffee boy. 

They both laughed and she braught her hand up to his chest, smiling at him 'thank you, Chakotay'.

his breath hitched 'glad to do it, captain' his eyes not leaving hers. Was it just her or was the room feeling warmer she thought before stepping back and clearing her throat, she smiled softly at him 'dismissed' he smiled back and left, the doors swooshing behind him. 

Kathryn sat down and tried to continue with her work, her brain traveling at high warp away from work matters to her first officer, his dark eyes, inviting smile, broad shoulders, strong arms and.... the room was starting to feel hot again she thought! She flung herself back in her office chair 'snap out of it janeway you are a captain!' She scolded herself for being so adolescent and forced herself to do her tedious tasks. 

Some time had passed it was now 1400 hours, and she was almost done with her mountain of work, another hour maybe more and she would be done she thought.

'Chakotay to Janeway' her badge chirped.

'Janeway here, what can I do for you commander' she sat slightly more upright waiting for his response.

'You haven't had lunch yet captain, do you want me to replicate you something, more coffee perhaps?'

she could hear the slight smile in his voice even over the comm, her stomach growled telling her she did in fact need to eat 'yes commander, that would be good of you!'

A few minutes later and he was at her replicator getting her a vegetable plate and of course a coffee, he smiled at her kindly taking it upto her by the couch to sit by the viewport 'get yourself something Chakotay, join me?' As he laid down lunch in front of her.

'I've already had lunch but I'll have tea' he came and joined her on the couch 'do you usually forget to have lunch?'

She looked at him a bit shocked at the small but personal question none the less, she thought for a moment and decided to be honest 'Sometimes.... it's a bad habit I just forget especially if I have a lot of work to do, and I don't tend to notice until I'm very hungry or until someone mentions food' she kept her eyes on him, he seemed so interested in something so trivial. 'So thanks for reminding me today Chakotay' she smiled openly at him and continued to eat the lunch he had replicated for her.

End of shift and work was handed over or could wait until she was next on the bridge. She walked into her quarters and kicked off her boots unzipping her uniform jacket making her way towards her bedroom to put something comfortable on. She decided on a loose black top that came just under her bottom and some simple leggings that stopped just below the knees, she unclipped her hair letting all the pins out. 

She desperately wanted a glass of brandy, she walked up to her replicator 'one double brandy, janeway selection one' the replicator beeped and then did nothing.... she closed her eyes and counted back from ten trying to suppress the urge to hit the replicator, clenching her fists and letting out a low grumble. 

She slapped her comm badge 'Janeway to Chakotay'

'Chakotay here, how are you captain?' 

'My replicator hates me! The one in my quarters is also not functioning correctly, it can be added to lieutenant Torres duties tomorrow. Can you come to my quarters?' 

She heard a slight laugh before he replied 'right away captains and I'll let her know immediately' 

the chirp of her front door alerted her and the doors swished open, he strode in wearing a pair of black linen trousers and a loose grey tshirt, he looked handsome out of uniform, she allowed her eyes to run over him briefly. She thought that she could see him do the same to her, she almost wished that she was wearing something more flattering but moved the thoughts to the back of her mind and stood up to great him properly. 

'Sorry for calling you when you are off duty but.... well I already told you about the replicator' she shook her head slightly and looked over at the piece of equipment before moving her hands up to rub at her temples she laughed lightly and looked back at him 'did I mention that it hates me?' 

He laughed and walked over to it looking over his shoulder at her 'what was it you wanted? Have you eaten?' He smiled lightly at her. 

'I was trying to get brandy but ahh' and her stomach rumbled, she moved her left hand over it 'no and apparently I'm hungry' she walked over to him and smiled 'what about you Chakotay? Are you hungry?' 

His smile widened and his dimples beamed at her 'no I've not had dinner yet, Kathryn' he swallowed ' and I am hungry' his eyes didn't leave hers and she thought his already dark eyes where somehow darker, she felt the room and he cheeks get hot and she stepped back 'good!' It comes out about an octave higher than it should and she turns towards her living area to sit down and hide her face for a brief moment, she composes herself quickly, 'join me, if you want'. She sits and relaxes. 


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been trying to write this chapter for awhile, after multiple failed attempts this is how it ended up. 
> 
> Continues on after last chapter, only skips them eating. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

The dinner that the commander had replicated for them both had been sublime, the Brandy was good too! She took a sip of the almost gold liquid, which would have burned if it was her first glass but it wasn't! It was her third this evening, and all she could taste was the sweetness. 

'Remind me when B'Elanna has this all sorted to replicate us a Brandy from my selection' 

He looked up from his almost finished meal and flashed his dimples at her 'is my variation not to your liking, captain?

She let out a breathy chuckle before taking another sip 'actually it's rather nice, a bit sweeter than my own, but I like it commander' when she put the glass back on the table his eyes didn't leave her, she felt a rather nice warm sensation run through her all the way to her toes. 

She would have been lying to herself if she said she didn't take notice of the way that Chakotay had been looking at her lately, she would also be lying if she said that she didn't enjoy it! Even across the dining table she could feel the lure of his dark eyes on her, taking her in. The room was starting to become very warm, she could feel the heat rising off of herself. What she wouldn't give to open up a window and feel a cool breeze around her.

She finishes the remainder of her brandy and stood up with all the composure she could muster 'just going to the bathroom' if she stumbled on her way the commander didn't say anything.

Janeway got to her bathroom and closed the door, the lights in the room where far too bright she thought. She hung her head forward and gripped the sides of the sink for support, she felt slightly dizzy and looked up into the mirror, her eyes are watery and bloodshot and her cheeks and neck have gone a slightly rouge color that she can see goes all the way down to her chest. She pushed herself up with a slight gasp as she takes in her appearance and runs the water. She splashes her face and regards herself in the mirror again, she then splashes her face for a second time for good measure... and then again! It slowly dawnes on her that she looks drunk! 

The brandy that Chakotay had been replicating for her all evening has real alcohol in it, and not synthahol! She hasnt had real alcohol since she was in the academy she thought! 'No wonder I'm off my game!' She said to herself frustratedly in the mirror. Perhaps he thinks she usually drinks real alcohol, she think before leaving her bathroom. 

When she returns to her living area, he greets her with a warm smile and a fresh glass of brandy, he step in closer and she really should refuse it now that she knows what she knows but she doesn't! Instead she allows herself to enjoy his closeness and takes the drink from him, her foggy mind already forgetting about the possibility the ship might go into red alert or about protocol and command structure, for a brief moment she forgot all about being a captain and gets lost in the fact that he is mere inches away, so close she could smell a slight earthy musk coming from him. 

'Are you alright, Kathryn?' 

Her spell was broken but sees and hears no sign of concern in his eyes or voice, just mild amusement. She takes a step back to gather herself, it doesn't do much. 

'Fine' it comes out higher than she thought her voice could even go, she moves to get in front of him and in doing so sees that he has already recycled the dishes from dinner. That's very sweet of him she thinks as she makes her way towards her couch and sits down. 

He follows her and sits only leaving about an arms length between them, his proximity yet again brings a hint of earthy musk and waves of heat flashing through her that causes rather distinct goosebumps to appear, I'm not wearing sleeves, he will be able to see those.... she tries to drive that thought to the back of her mind. She needs to find suitable conversation with him, neutral ground! 

As if he was reading her mind he leans forward, she almost leaned in herself before he smiled and his eyes became mischievous 'have you heard... crewmans Dalby and Foster have started seeing each other?' 

She lets out a chuckle 'no....but then again, no one wants to gossip with the captain' she can't help but smile wickedly at him, 'got anymore shipboard gossip for me?'. 

'Well it just so happens that I did hear something interesting while in the mess hall' he leaned closer towards her as if whatever he was going to say was a big secret 'Tom asked B'Elanna out! They are an item now'. 

again she couldn't help but laugh 'I actually already knew that!' she is laughing so hard and having such a good time that she closes the distance between them and gives his shoulder what was meant to be a little squeeze, but lingers slightly to long. 

He is laughing with her and they are both almost done their drinks, she pulls her hand away after one last squeeze. He looks at her, his eyes still twinkling from the laughter, and a smile just for her. She takes a sip of her brandy 'it's getting late commander, we are both due on the bridge tomorrow, it's been a lovely evening though!' As she says this she uses every bit of composure training starfleet has every given her to stand up and act completely sober, and for the most part she manages it fairly well, the only true give away being how red her usually pale skin has become and the wateriness of her eyes. 

He stand up with her and seems fine she thinks. 'Thank you for tonight Kathryn!' He steps in slightly and gives her shoulder a squeeze, never breaking eye contact 'goodnight'.

'Goodnight, Chakotay!' The doors swoosh closed behind him as he walks out and she allows her composure to finally melt, she can barely make her way to her bedroom, she stumbles and manages to knock anything that sat on a surface off on her way! When she finally reaches her bed she unceremoniously flopped down with an oof! 

The sound of her morning alarm is enough for her to break the prime directive, if of course that meant that it stopped!

'computer turn off the alarm' her voice come out croaky, 

Wow what a headache! She tries to sit up in her bed, this however only serves in making her nauseous. I feel awful she thinks to herself as she tries to motivate herself to get up and get a coffee, but then she remembers that the replicator hates her and she can't! For the briefest of moment before getting up anyway... She thinks she may cry.

She finally finds the motivation buried down and makes her way to her bathroom. The bright lights seemed even brighter than last night! Which did nothing to help her headache.

'Computer, dim the lights by 30%' 

The small bathroom lights dimmed considerably. 'Light adjustment complete' said the familiar voice of voyager.

She undresses as quick as she can and takes a quick glimpse at herself in the mirror before activating her sonic shower, Kathryn decides that she looks as bad as she feels before stepping into the spray. The shower helps quite a bit and as she tries to wash away how terrible she is feeling and her mind begins to work again and she remembers that Chakotay was probably going to come by her quarters to make sure she had breakfast.

Kathryn quickly dries herself, throws on her uniform, and does up her hair with a single clip, she decides not to wait for the commander in her quarters. She picks up a few padds and left for the mess hall.

The doors to the mess hall swoosh open! 'Captain' an energetic Neelix popps up from behind his counter 'good morning! Lovely to see you! What can I do for you this morning captain?' 

'Morning Neelix! Can I have my usual coffee and whatever you have for breakfast?' She is already having regrets about deciding to come here, his energy is too much. 

'Absolutely captain! Right away' he went about his business cheerily before coming back to her with what she requested, he gave her a smile and a knowing look 'rough night captain?' 

She took a gulp of her much needed coffee before giving him a reply, she looked back at him and couldn't help but be slightly honest 'you could say that... I maybe had a little too much to drink last night' she smiles back. 

He looked amused 'I didn't know you drank captain!' 

'I don't! It was a one off' 

'next day regrets! I understand that well captain!' 

Before she can give him a reply he winks at her wickedly and saunters off towards some of the other crew members. 

She drinks her coffee but avoids the strange looking plate that Neelix gave her for breakfast, she would usually be courteous and try it but didn't really want to risk it with how bad she was still feeling. It was a good night she thought as she emptied her coffee cup. 

Kathryn was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost didn't hear the commander approaching behind her 'I thought I might find you in here captain!' He is now in front of her and she motions for him to sit 'I went by your quarters to make sure you had breakfast!' 

'That's good of you commander, it's okay though... Mr Neelix has taken care of it, but I wouldn't mind having another coffee before duty starts' 

He gets one for her and one for himself and comes back. 

'Looking a little tired this morning captain! I hope I didn't keep you up too late last night!' He graces her with his boyish grin she can't help but smile back 

'it was a wonderful night but...I'm just not used to drinking so much I feel awful!' 

He gives her the most confused look she has ever seen 'l don't understand' 

'the brandy, we drank brandy last night!' 

He now looked confused and worried 'yes we did but.... it doesnt have alcohol in it! At least mine definitely didn't. I think we better go to sickbay!' 

Now it was her turn to feel confused as they both went down the corridor 'you didn't think I was acting strangely last night then?'

'Well....yes but I thought we were just having a good time!'

the whole situation was grating on her and she scoffed at him 'it's your job as first officer to notice if something isn't right!' 

'Your blaming me! It's not as though I forced you to drink it Kathryn!' 

She stopped walking and he did too, she rubbed her temples to try and ease the headache 'I'm sorry Chakotay, I was out of order!'

He smiled at her but he still looked worried 'come on let's just go get you checked out by the doctor' 

They continue their journey to sickbay in silence. 

It's now 0800 and they are both due on the bridge and late about to enter sickbay when she thinks she should inform the crew that she and the commander would be joining them soon. 

She taps her combadge 'Janeway to the bridge?'

'Tuvok here captain' 

'The commander and I have some business to attend to Tuvok, you have the bridge'

'Aye captain' 

The commander motions for her to go in front and the doors to sickbay swoosh open. 

The Doctor is already active staring at padds and making changes, he looks over at them expectantly.

'Captain! Commander what do I owe the pleasure! Is there a medical emergency?'

Kathryn rubs her temple with both hands not quite sure how to explain the situation to the Doctor, she glimpses at Chakotay and see he is having the same issue.

'no emergency doctor... it's just...' she tries to hold her composure in explaining everything but the best things she can come up with is 'my replicator hates me and got me drunk!' 

Chakotay who is standing beside her shifts how he is standing and lets out a little chuckle before she turns around and gives him a warning glare, 'sorry captain' he mumbles. 

The doctor does a better job at remaining impassive but she sees he is holding back a smile, he gets a medical trycorder and tells her to sit up on the biobed. 

'Hmm' the doctor muses as he runs the trycorder up and down her person.

'yes doctor!'

'well captain it would appear that you aren't quite fit for duty this morning and I recommend you take today off to get the alcohol out of your system entirely! It would appear you are still under the influence'

She felt modified but didn't understand why it was just her 'Doctor examine the commander'

the doctor then began to run the trycorder up and down the commander, 'the commander doesn't have any alcohol in his system captain and he is fit for duty' he turns around 'however captain you should really take the morning off at the very least!' 

'Yes, okay doctor I will'

She managed to rush out of sickbay with the commander following behind her. They reach the turbo lift and he turns around 'so are you taking the morning off?'

She wants to say no but she's smart enough to know that he is testing her and would force her to take the morning off anyway so she just nods her head and agrees with him.

As the lift begins she can't help but feel like she is part of some silly conspiracy or the butt of a very large joke as Paris would put it. 

The turbo lift stops on the deck for the commanding quarters, she turn around to the commander before stepping off 'have lieutenant Torres comm me when she has the chance' 

'I'll let her know captain!'

'oh and Chakotay.... this probably goes without saying but...' she lifts her finger at him and grins slightly 'not a word'

he chuckled in response 'of course captain'.

She trusted him completely knowing her secret was safe with him and as she walked the short distance to her quarters she didn't take into account that Neelix had already spread tales of her rough night throughout Voyager to most of its crewman. 

When she got to her quarters again she unzipped her uniform jacket and removed it, flinging it down on her chair. 

Once in the solitude of her own space she couldn't help but stare down the replicator in question and placed her hands on her hips... she desperately wanted another coffee.

She decided to chance it 'one coffee, black' 

The replicator beeped at her and she held her breath wishing that it would be kind to her, she had little hope and then after a moments pause a black coffee appeared! Her excitement was dimmed slightly by the unusual lag that the piece of equipment seemed to be bothered by, and it intrigued her. 

She still drank the coffee however, but found it did little to keep her awake and she fell asleep sitting on her chair with a padd in her hand. This is how she remained until the chirp of her comm badge alerted her...


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts right after the last chapter.  
> There is also some stuff related to actual episodes but won't go in to deep, wouldn't want to spoil anything.
> 
> All mistakes are mine but if you find any glaring ones hopefully it will all still make sense

'Torres to the captain' 

Janeway straightened up in her chair groggily after being woken, the PADD she was holding earlier was now on the floor. 

She cleared her throat and tapped her comm badge 'Janeway here, what can I do for you lieutenant?'

'I was informed by the commander that you are in your quarters captain, and I was just letting you know that the diagnostic I ran on your replicators have produced nothing out of the ordinary, but I can come up and have a look at them both, I can start of in your quarters' 

'Sounds good to me lieutenant, see you soon Janeway out'. 

Knowing that her chief engineer was on her way up she pushed hearself up off her chair and went to her bathroom to make herself look more presentable. The lights still seemed too bright to her tired eyes but she decided that she actually looked a bit better... at least compared to earlier in the day! Although her headache seemed worse than before. She brushed her hair and pinned it back again, it would have to be enough she thought before going back to living space. 

It wasn't long before the chirp of her door alerted her 'come in' 

The doors swooshed open to reveal her chief engineer, most members of the crew hesitated before coming into her living space but B'Ellana Torres was not one of them, she strode in confidently and looked somewhat pleased. 

'Lieutenant, thank you for making time for this! I know I've put a lot of work on your shoulders this month!'

'I'm happy to do it captain even if I don't find out if the rumours are true' 

This statement alone was one that she had not expected, it threw her off balance and she had to blink a few times... this ship has far too many rumours she thought. 

'Explain lieutenant' she tried to put on her best captain voice, it was dawning on her that she was possibly the new target for shipboard tales.

'Tom Paris told me this morning that you had a bit of a party last night' 

She couldn't help but let out a small groan and let the captains mask fall with it just a little

'I take it the whole crew are having a bit of fun with this information' 

B'Ellana had already started looking at the replicator running a scan over it and pressing some buttons 'well Tom is! Chakotay not so much' with mention of the commanders name B'Ellanas eyes came to meet her own but flicked away again when she finished speaking. 

Kathryn almost scoffed at the look her chief engineer gave her but thought better of it... 'well if Tom knows everyone knows' 

'I wouldn't worry about it captain. The crew will move on quickly enough....' her lieutenant paused what she was doing and turned towards her 'so you wanna tell me what actually happened?' 

Her eyes widened at her chief engineers casual attitude before trying to blink it away! 

As if B'Ellana sensed Kathryn's inner voice she let out a chuckle to diffuse the tension 'you know your not on duty at the moment!' 

The laughter was slightly infectious and she found herself smiling slightly 'I know! But you are... lieutenant!' 

'Can wait until I'm off duty then!'

She actually found that she really wanted to spend time with the younger women because although most of her friends back home are male and she generally gets on better with them, she truly misses her sister and some of her close female friends. She feels as though a rock has fallen on her head however, she senses that even if she was to agree in spending personal time with her that her current good humour would drop drastically. 

'Sorry B'Ellana but I don't feel upto it!.... however we could make plans for another time?'

B'Ellana smiled at her warmly 'sounds good to me, now what's been happening with the replicator?' 

'Good question lieutenant' she sighed and made her way over to the replicator to explain further 'it would not listen to me all day yesterday! Along with making its own changes mysteriously.... however this morning it worked for me, but it seemed rather slow'

'well I haven't detected an issue with it so far' she pressed a few more buttons before stopping completely 'try now captain'

she did as her chief engineer asked and ordered her usual black coffee, the replicator worked like it should and B'Ellana left her quarters stating that everything seemed to be fine now and that she would try and get to the bottom of what the problem actually was at her next convenience. 

Sometime had passed since her chief engineer had left and even though her supply to coffee had been given back to her, it didn't seem to be giving her the desired effects of being able to stay awake and focused for long.

Her headache kept getting worse as the day slowly trudged along in her quarters.

'I don't remember hangovers being his bad! I must be getting old' she muses to herself and began rubbing her temples trying to ease some of the pressure. She gave up on this task soon after however due to no longer being able to keep her eyes open.

she didn't know how long she had been asleep for when the the chirp to her door alerted her. 

She huffed up and rubbed her eyes before calling for the door to open 'come in' 

the doors to her quarters swooshed open to reveal her first officer, he walked in with his hands behind his back and smiled lightly when he saw her, but also seemed slightly nervous. 

'Chakotay... what can I do for you?' 

'I came to see if you are taking care of yourself! I know you aren't used to taking a day off'

'All I've been doing is sleeping....'

'and drinking coffee, I hear your replicator is back up and running' 

'yes it is! and yes I was' 

there was a small silence between them, the commander pulled on his ear and in one breath asked 'so do you want to have dinner with me tonight?' 

Her eyes widened a little but she tried to make her features neutral again before he noticed 'let me get back to you on that one commander..' she moved closer to where he was before continuing 'after all you are the one who used my replicator last night, how do I know you aren't just trying to get the captain drunk!' She was of course only teasing him but took note of the slight flash of fear that swept across his eyes before she cracked a smile and laughed. 

He joined her laughter 'well I can see you are doing better than earlier captain so I'll go and tend to some other duties now but I'll contact you later to see if you are up for some dinner' 

'okay commander you do that, I'll maybe see you later' 

with that the commander strode out of her quarters with a smile and the doors swooshed closed behind him.

almost as soon as he left the last bit of energy she had drifted away and this time she decided to give in and go to bed, so she took off her starfleet issue uniform and crawled into the stiff starfleet issue duvet. it wasn't long before she was fast asleep once more. 

Kathryn Janeway awoke this time to nothing but the low familiar hum that voyager creates when she travels at high warp, she felt rested but still had a headache and was now feeling slightly nauseous. 

She got out of bed and checked the time it was 1700 hours which meant that she had been asleep for almost three hours. She was shocked at herslelf, she rarely got that much uninterrupted sleep. 

She went to her bathroom to shower and tend to other needs. Once she was out and in a fresh pair of clothes she felt slightly better, but something still wasn't right, how she was feeling could not be put into words, she felt anxious but she wasn't even sure why. Her heart rate picked up and she began to sweat profusely. 

She had to sit down before she fell down, she almost tapped her com badge for help but the feeling began to ease and she decided that she should perhaps visit the doctor instead of causing an alarm of crewman to rush to her quarters all because the captain had a hangover.

'I'll wait till later when the corridors aren't too busy' she thought. 

She instead waited until she felt as though she could get up and went to her replicator to order her usual. 

'Coffee black'

the replicator did as it was told and gave her what she wanted. 

This time when she felt the hot liquid go down, it felt exhilarating and within ten minute she felt wonderful and full of energy, her constant headache even went away, along with all thoughts of going to the doctor. 

She was freshening up again when her com badge chirped.

'Chakotay to Janeway' 

she stopped what she was doing and tapped her combadge before responding.

'What can I do for you commander?'

'you sounds well captain, I was wondering if you had considered what I asked earlier?'

She smiled, she was indeed feeling great, so she slapped her combadge and enthusiastically responded 

'I'd love to, but why don't I come to you, I'd like to get out of my quarters, even if it is just next door.'

'yes absolutely captain, I've just finished my shift though so give me thirty minutes to get myself ready'

'no problem commander, I'll see you soon, janeway out' 

Without really thinking she put on a bit of perfume that she had acquired on her last shore leave and even a bit of make up. 

She changed again into a comfortable green dress that had small buttons running up along the front with sleeves that came to her elbows losely. She then unpinned her hair and let it hang around her shoulders freely. 

Kathryn took a look at herself in the mirror and then scrunched up her features 'what am I doing!' it was pointless her brain catching up now though because she was meant to be leaving. I don't know why I'm worrying, surely things won't be different just because I put on a dress and some make up right? She thought to herself before leaving her quarters. 

The corridor was empty and when she got to Chakotays door she pressed the chime.

The doors swooshed open as she heard him call enter, she walked in to find him rushing out of his sleeping area wearing a pair of nice trousers and a grey shirt that he was still trying to button, she found it difficult to not stare at his chest as he tried to finish getting ready. 

'Sorry captain, I am almost ready....' his eyes finally met hers 'wow...you look!'

She held up both of her hands to stop him but couldn't stop herself from smiling at him

'Thank you commander that will do! So what are we having?' 

Chakotay beamed devilishly at her 'Brandy?'

he was making fun of her so she swatted his arm playfully. 

'That's not funny commander, it's still a mystery how it happened and I've been kept from being on duty for a day!' 

They made their way to the couch and sat side by side, he had already managed to replicate her a cup of coffee and himself a cup of tea before she got there. 

'Are you saying that you will never drink with me again Kathryn?'

'you didn't drink with me! There was no alcohol in your system! but yes one day I would love to have a drink with you'

'so B'Ellana didn't find anything?'

'not yet! She also informed me that the crew have been talking about it...what can you tell me about that'

He moved in a little closer and smiled at her 'the crew for the most part laughed and moved on pretty quick....some crewmen from the lower decks joked that they should invite you to their weekly poker game... Toms had a lot of fun with it, over all I think that it's boosted moral' he finished with a wink.

again she swatted him playfully and her hand landed on his leg afterwards, she immediately removed it hoping he didn't notice it too much. She broke away and picked up her coffee.

He did the same and picked up his tea, his eyes never leaving her form. She knew he was looking at her and soon after giving it acknowledgment the room felt like it was getting warmer.

She looked back at him and took a sip of her coffee. 

'You never told me what we are having commander' 

'I have replicated a stew, we can have it now if you like?' 

'Sounds good to me' 

She stood up first and made her way to the dining area in his quarters, she had been In here so often that she felt comfortable enough to move around freely.

He joined her after he prepared their dishes.

'looks good commander!'

he took his seet and smiled at her, they had dinner in a comfortable silence for awhile until they where both almost done. 

'So what was Tom saying today? He could be the one that's been messing with my replicators! Or am I being paranoid?'

Chakotay put down his fork 'he has just been making fun, if your asking do I think he did it.... I have no way of knowing, but he can be rather childish at times and he does love a good prank! However I don't think you should throw him in the brig just yet'

She sighed and relaxed back into the dining chair 'your probably right.... Did I miss much today?'

'nothing, it was a quiet day in the delta quadrant, we are about five days away from the next M class planet, we are heading there now'

'good!' normally she would be thrilled discussing shop talk with him but she was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything but the way his lips where moving. 

'Are you alright Kathryn? You seem distracted'

she moved her eyes to meet his and seen the same look from the night prior, no concern but a lot of knowing, afterall they have been dancing around one another for years and she knows this just like him and without thinking she blurted out

'I find you very distracting'

his eyes widen at her, she can tell he had not expected her to say that. 

Shit she thinks to herself, I could demand an emergency beam out! No no bad idea! So she stands up instead 'I have to go!' And without waiting for a response from her first officer she practically runs out of his quarters and the doors swoosh closed behind her.

This time the corridor was not empty and the person that had to be occupying it had to be Tom Paris. 

'Good evening captain, not getting upto no good again are we?' 

'Lieutenant if i where you id remember when I demoted you to ensign, I want you in my ready room tomorrow morning at 0900 and that's an order'

this made him stand up a bit straighter and he looked annoyed 'sorry captain it was just a joke' 

'That will be all for now, I'll speak to you tomorrow' 

with that he walked away with a lot less humour than he had before and she went into her quarters. 

The doors to her quarters swooshed closed behind her and she went straight upto her replicator 'coffe black' 

it gave her what she wanted and she began to pace the length of her living space with a cup in her hand. 

'Damn it!' She thought as she stopped and stared at the wall that separated them, she took a long sip of her coffee unsure what to do next, then the doors to her quarters chirped and startled her. 

It must be him she thought as she wearily made her way closer to her door, it chirped again before she called for the doors to open, might as well face it. 

'come in' 

he strode in when the doors swooshed open and left little room between them 

'I have something to ask you'

oh no she thought here it comes, her heart began to sink at the prospect of having to let him down and perhaps even lose him as her friend but not letting him down and it not working out could be worse, every part of her being also doesn't want to jeopardise the command team and how the crew see her as their captain, she knows that they all look to her for guidance and a relationship with her first officer would complicate that greatly. She is also aware that starfleet would most likely disapprove of the captain taking up with the former captain of a marquis vessel especially since she was meant to arrest him the day she met him. 

'You can't' she states flatly 

'you don't even know what I'm going to ask' his brows furrow a little and he looks away, but after a moment he looks back at her 'okay I won't ask, I don't even need to tell you... I told you already many years ago and that hasn't changed' 

'everything has changed Chakotay but the reasons haven't and for the sake of our friendship which I need and rely on, especially out here please stop' 

he took in a deep shaky breath and looked into her eyes 'if that's how you want it captain, I'll say goodnight' 

with that he walked out the door as if he had never entered.

She stood motionless just watching the door, half begging him to come back and the other hoping that this conversation be the end of it, somehow she felt like pandoras box was opened and there is no ignoring it.

when she was able to move from the spot that had emotionally glued her, she made her way to her replicator, she ordered her usual coffee and then made her way to her bedroom, she sat down and took a sip all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and forget everything that had happened but she didn't have that luxury, as much as it was frowned upon for a captain to have an inappropriate relationship with someone under her command, it was worse if she just gave up over silly thoughts of romance.

she stood up with purpose and went to her desk, she sat down and went through every padd she could, she stayed this way going back and forth to her replicator for more coffee and before she knew it the computer in her quarters was telling her she was due to be on duty.

Ive stayed up all night.... today is gonna be rough, she quickly got ready and made her way to the bridge.


End file.
